Laughs, lime and love

The trick is to walk in smiling.

Enough people dread work events because there’s often too much time spent on awards speeches and not enough invested into the lavish, open bar. So whenever I walk into a room of impatient, thirsty executives, I like to smile hard, long and genuinely.

And after I sample the lavish, open bar, I genuinely want something hard and long.

But last night, all I ended up with was vodka, tonic and a whole lot of lime.

I could’ve gone to bed with a computer genius from Canada, who still owns his accent, but he looked too much like a man who once made the dormitory door of fame at 1424 for looking like Jesus. So, no thank you, computer genius.

I could’ve screwed my work hook up, who kept staring at my mouth, but he kept staring at my mouth. So, no thank you, work hook up.

I could’ve casually fucked two financial “consultants” from a huge brokerage firm Downtown, who were both ridiculously hot, but I feared their bedroom behavior might have been on par with their conversational skills. In that case, I would’ve fallen asleep before we got to oral. So, no thank you, hot financial consultants.

I could’ve hooked up with one of my favorites, but I actually wanted a conversation first. I’m not sure why either, friends.
So I thought of the best conversationalist I know. He’d been on mind throughout the night--mainly because his boss made me laugh for a good half hour. I didn’t have it in me to ask to have it in me, and, besides, I had a platonic friend coming to visit.

Philly waited for me on my porch--me, late?--as I drove home, and when I got there I bitched at him for too long about how I could’ve been having drunk, vodka sex, but instead I was going to watch “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” with him and not have any kind of sex.

He ordered a pizza. It had sausage on it, so I couldn’t eat it. He bought light beer. I had already been drinking, so I drank it.
We laughed, talked about the cool people I met earlier who I couldn’t have slept with, took pictures, made fun of each other, and then I fell asleep on him in the middle of the movie. He woke me up at the end.

There’s no question it was a good night.

JAY was the best part. I talked to him for almost an hour about what Pittsburgh is really all about, where it’s going and how much I’ve always loved it.

It suffers from a serious image problem. Too many people still try to sell this town as a manufacturing hub. It’s not. Pittsburgh is way more diverse now. We’ve got health care, biotech, tech...and it will be one of those to propel the city far past where it was during the steel era and championship dynasty.

It was just one of those perfect fall-like evenings where I was so happy to live where I live, know who I know and love what I love.

And it occurred to me that Pittsburgh is a lot like the few men who’ve ever been able to touch my heart: a little misunderstood with a few image problems, not too rich, but very smart, knows how to make a good drink, can make me laugh all night and has a view that still takes my breath away.