Funny day

Someone threw half of a brick at me today.

They didn’t throw it hard, and it only hit my ass. I was a little taken aback at first, but I’ve been laughing about it since.

It’s unclear if the thrower intended to harm me or not because the toss was light. It’s also unclear if the thrower intended to hit my ass.

The brick hitting my ass was muted by an email I got today from a local college student--i verified the contact information-- who believed she’d been illegally experimented with. She’s claiming a federal organization tried to control her mind. She apparently blogged about this and included a sentence about a psych ward nurse refusing to believe there was a chip in her ear.

Scam? Crazy? Back-to-school prank?

Whatever the case, I decided I have enough insanity in my personal life to entertain it in my professional life.

No way did it stop there.

I was in a staff meeting, discussing the fastest-growing companies and organizations in the region, when a colleague brought up the company one of my hookups works for. We’re doing a special project, and by luck of the draw I got his company. Ethically, I said I’d have to recuse the story. No problem in the meeting, but later my editor asked why--just out of curiosity.

Inner dialogue: “Well, just as regularly as we publish, I have one of that company’s top salesmen in my bedroom. And, you know, call me crazy, but I just don’t think I could objectively write about what he does in the boardroom. Because, in my opinion, what he does in me often outperforms what he does in the office.”

Real dialogue: “Well, I just think that...”

“It’s not a problem. I’m just curious. You usually multitask well and are a strong writer and...” she said.

Inner dialogue: “You’re right. I can always hold my own, but he’s one boy who can really bring me to my knees.”

Real dialogue: “Thanks. It’s just the flooding. I’m doing that other project about the thing, the then and now, and, well, it was just so widespread.”

Inner dialogue: “Much like I’ve been, which is why I really can’t write that fucking story.”